Talkin’ Truth w/ an Enneagram 6: Death, Family, Work, Relationships, Religion

(Show Notes)

From love of family and community, to calculated risks, to the fear of death; it’s all here in this deep dive conversation with my friend, bandmate, and Enneagram 6 Chris. 

We delve into how the Enneagram has helped him grow, exploring  a wide variety of life domains, each revealing fascinating ways that the Enneagram manifests in Chris’s life.

Chris talks about the give and take of co-managing a semi-professional band with an Enneagram 8, his career trajectory from successful corporate salesman to collectible entrepreneur, and overcoming fear in relationships. Chris opens up about the profound impact of his father and how he has coped with his loss.

Our discussion extends to religion and spirituality, shedding light on the deep fear of non-existence at the core of an Enneagram 6. We touch on the prevalence of 6s in religious communities and the transformative power of music and community in fostering profound spiritual connections.

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1:  The Enneagram: Typing, Strengths, Weaknesses

I don’t like that. Yeah that’s accurate, for sure, but I don’t like that … I’m gonna be stronger and I’m gonna kind of do what I can to move past those weaknesses, or at least minimize them, to really live a better life.

00:04:11 – What’s your type?

00:04:32 – How did you discover your type? 

  • “Here’s the things I want to look at, like the loyalty part of the six, and the things I didn’t want to look at, like you know a lot of the anxiety …looking the worst case scenario in a certain situation..I’m like, wow, this really matches up”

00:06:42 – How the Enneagram has helped the most: Strengths/Weaknesses

2:  Experiential Learning: The Enneagram and Band Dynamics

My role in the band was, what I felt, simply a cheerleader. Say there was a disagreement, say there was an issue, I took a lot of pride in being that person that said, “Hey guys, we got this. Let’s move forward, be as positive as possible.”

00:08:57 – Experiential Learning: Enneagram Dynamics in a Band

00:10:03 – How Elliot brought the Enneagram up with bandmates

00:12:28 – What was your role in the band?

00:14:45 – Disintegrating to 9: Cheerleader, Peacemaker frustrations

00:17:13 – Integrating 3: How Chris learned to stand up for his desires

00:21:48 – What was it like co-managing the band with an Enneagram 8?

00:28:25 – How did you and the 8 impact each other?

3:  Support, Guidance, and Losing a Parent

I realize how much of a crutch, in good ways and bad ways that he was to me. Every single thing, I’d pick up the phone and call no matter what…and having that inclination and then having it not be available, it’s like this sinking feeling I can’t really describe. 

00:35:59  – Support, Guidance, and Losing a Parent

00:38:04 – How have you responded to losing your father?

00:46:36 – The lasting impact of Chris’s father’s advice and role modeling

4:  Work and Calculated Risks: From Corporate Salesman to Entrepreneur

Part of the reason that I know I stuck with that job for so long, I was like “this is stable.” …If there’s something you love and it’s a calculated risk, for me I realized that’s something I should always do.

00:57:41 – From Corporate Salesman to Entrepreneur: Work and Calculated Risk

00:58:31 – How Chris landed a managerial position he was unqualified for at 19

00:59:04 – Chris’s managerial philosophy

01:01:17 – Giving good feedback as a manager

01:04:42 – Chasing money: from management to commission based sales

01:06:25 – What Chris looks for in a hire

01:08:09 – Healthy integration of 3 and 6 in sales

01:08:58 – Career Suicide: Turning Down a Promotion

01:13:07 – Commission Based Sales: Money, Ethics, Psychology

01:19:17 – Why Chris spent 15 years at a job he didn’t like

01:20:33 – Calculated Risks: Chris’s current Entrepreneurial Endeavor

01:26:48 – What is meaningful about your collectibles business?

01:29:38 – The slow burn to stable success

5:  Dating and Relationships

Normally your Jedi mind tricks don’t work on me. The difference is when I’m in a relationship, I’m all in. That means I trust, I’m vulnerable.  I used to think “oh that makes me weak”, now here’s the thing; I realize as I get older that makes me strong,to be able to do that, and some people will take advantage of that…

01:34:47 – Dating and Relationships

01:35:06 – What’s your current relationship status?

01:37:11 – The downsides of having great parents

01:39:47 – Relationships: Moving from the Head to the Heart

01:45:28 – Chris is like the real life “Good Luck Chuck”

01:46:32 – What Chris values most in a partner

01:48:12 – What is it with Enneagram 6s and dogs?

01:49:08 – Tritypes…Does Chris have a type 2 heart?

    6:  Religion and Spirituality 

    I didn’t realize how lost I was…

    01:55:37 – Religion and Spirituality

    01:55:49 – Did you ever doubt your Christian faith?

    02:01:39 – Fear of Death

    • I remember being a kid and panicking, you know that fear of death, “What if we just become nothing?” That thought of becoming nothing,  that’s panicking.”

    02:06:04 – Finding Peace and Joy in a Church Community

    02:12:52 – Bringing your authentic self to an audition (church band)

    02:16:44 – Are 6s the most common Enneagram type? (Richard Rohr)

    02:25:09 – Spiritual Experiences through Community and Music

    • “It’s a connection you feel that you have with that person, and you have with God, together. It’s kind of an indescribable feeling. I don’t want to say a high or like a euphoria, it’s just like a spiritual Nirvana that’s really difficult to explain besides just saying it simply like that.”

    02:29:14 – Closing Thoughts